every day of “normal” is a small victory

being real

It helps to be with other mothers who have lost a child.  Three moms visited me after the accident, and gave me comfort and some very good advice.  They didn’t ‘pull any punches” when they told me, “You will never be the same. Just know that when people tell you it get better – it doesn’t.  It just gets different.  There will be a new normal.”  (I was still dazed, but I remember thinking, “I just read somewhere that… “normal is just a setting on a dryer.”)  

sometimes, there is such cruelty in hope

You have a “good” day, and you delude yourself into thinking that you might be getting better, or nearing the “end” (as if the healing process was somehow linear).  Then, the next day you do a virtual “face-plant” on the floor.  After the third or fourth time you pick yourself up, most people would get it. But the pain is so great, you continue to hope – against all evidence – that THIS time, it might be different.  You just crave a bit of “normal.”

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