If you pour more liquid into an over-filled glass, it simply spills over.

My grandmother just died.  She was wise and loving, and so very giving.  She lived a long life, and I will miss her.  Yet, I am so consumed by the loss of my son, that I’m struggling to properly grieve for my Nana. There just isn’t any room.

It’s been six months since my son died and I’m not sure the pain will ever go away.  

A good friend of mine told me that the six month mark can be one of the most difficult points in the grieving process. Most other people have gone back to everyday life and are no longer constantly thinking about the person who died – and they expect that the grieving family will be experiencing the same thing.  But the family is still in the relatively early stages of grief, made worse by the expectation that they too should be functioning normally. 

I know I can’t expect the world to stop – just because mine did.  I just want people to remember him; I need to know that he still matters even though he is gone. 




3 thoughts on “overflowing

  1. One way to assure he will not be forgotten is to talk about him with those who love you. Whether you recall his goofy mistakes or his greatest triumphs. Those who care about you and didn’t know your son, will probably love to get to know him through your stories. Let them share that part of your life. You may find that with each story, you feel joy rather than pain. 🙂

  2. I would like to know more about your son. When the time feels right, would you write what you’d like people to remember about him?

    My grandmother died at the same time that a member of my immediate family was critically ill. I found that I couldn’t grieve for my grandmother for some time. Then one day I mentioned to someone that my grandmother had died. The other person said that it is so hard to lose a grandmother, you have all those wonderful memories of being wrapped up in her love. That did it–the floodgates opened.

  3. My mom died three years after our son died. I had such a hard time after Jason died that I don’t think I really ever fully grieved the death of my mom. Be gentle with yourself…give yourself lots of time to grieve. You’re right…the timetable of a parent’s grief is lightyears away from “everyone else’s.”

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