What do we learn from the pain of losing a child? I know that we are irrevocably changed, but do we gain something from our grief? Does our obsession to find answers help us to become something better?
Perhaps it is when we finally decide to live – when we make ourselves move on – that we channel our energies into something good.
I suspect our grief causes us to become more generous, or more altruistic than we might otherwise have been. I see bereaved parents:
- publishing books
- writing blogs
- lobbying for positive change
- joining groups like Compassionate Friends who come together to offer comfort
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.