Right after my son’s accident, I could only recall memories of his last 6 months while living with us.
It is only recently that the early memories have returned: my son as a baby, toddler, adolescent, and teen – such heartbreaking images.
Allowing myself to remember what he was – to me and to others, takes me to a dark, lonely place. In this space, I have no wish to speak; to listen; or to invite anyone in. Time passes, much like you see in a movie when everything freezes; white noise and nothing-ness blocks the world from getting in. It is a seductive, solitary place…….and I find it very healing.
“Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way.” Anne Morrow Lindbergh