There are days when I feel so broken that I want to plead with God – – to cry out to him  – – that I’m not ready to let my son go.  I wake in a panic, afraid that I’ve lost him forever, because I can’t remember the sound of his voice, or his laugh.  My struggle is to find peace in knowing that my son and I will be together again in a new place (he just gets to go there first). 

I wonder if it is true that when you lose a loved one, your mind forgets things so your heart doesn’t keep breaking over, and over again.

Life will never be the same – I will never be the same; I’ve simply lost too much.  And yet, I look around and see all that I’ve been given.  I’m just not sure how to reconcile this realization with the pain in my heart.  I’m constantly reminded: if you give God the pieces, he can take anything broken and make it whole again.  That is my prayer

“The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18






1 thought on “broken

  1. That is a great prayer and I am a firm believer in God too!! From someone who has lost her mother in 1998, it was hard at first. Just remember everyone grieves differently. I do know that if you have God and a wonderful social support system to help you now and throughout the rest of your life, you will be okay. The Lord will not give you too much for you to handle! Eventually, you will find peace and grace around holidays, birthdays, and even the day your loved one passes. I will pray for you and your family right now. I pray for God to give you peace in your heart and give you lots of joy and abundance. Mostly, I pray for His love to embrace you right now and calm your heart and mind. Also, I pray that God will embrace your son with peace, love, and tranquilty. Bless you for sharing your story.

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