lifelong journey

In the midst of despair, being reminded that tomorrow is another day provides no comfort because it’s hard to believe tomorrow will be any better.” Surviving Grief and Tragedy – The Spark Within, by Michael Josephson  

I was confused when people told me I was “getting better.”   Yes, I was less distracted; I could read a few sentences; and remember a few more things.  But, I didn’t feel better.  My heart hurt.

Prayers – so many prayers – for healing, and then waiting for whatever was next.  When I had a good day, I was convinced that I was starting into the next phase – moving on towards “better.”  That made the bad days all the more devastating.

the big a ha

Weeks went by before I it finally hit me: there are no milestones, no half-way points, and certainly no end to this process.  This is a  lifelong journey that feels like scaling vertical rock face.  I have to decide if I choose life.  And I get to choose – every single day –how I want to live that life.  

Andy Warhol said, “They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”

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